Thinking happens in between breaths.

We are able to live mindful lives in integrity with ourselves. The only reason we don't do it is that we don't believe in our ability to do so. Breath is a tool that can help us live in the here and now.

The view as I write this.

Life’s been messy and chaotic for over a month now.

I was moving around a lot, my sleep schedule is all over the place, and I’m trying to recover from a very nasty allergic reaction to mould. This all makes my brain foggy, and writing is a real challenge. I can barely put a cohesive story together, so I think we will keep it a bit shorter this time.

When trying to keep up a regular rhythm of life & work, I can see myself getting overwhelmed. My brain is stuffed up with thoughts and unresolved matters, unable to process them or let go.

It feels almost as if it is getting clogged, and there’s little to no room for fresh ideas or connections between the thoughts.

Luckily times when I felt at the mercy of life and my mind are more or less gone. Whenever I see myself overflowing with external stimuli, I try to return to the present moment and make time for meditation or journaling.

This is something I learned to do over time, and it helps a lot.

About two years ago, I read the famous “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. Like all of the most important books, this one came into my life when I needed it the most.

Soon after finishing this book, I had an intense experience that showed me, indeed, the power of being in the now.

In short, knowing about “the power of now”, I was able to snap out of the most intense anxiety attack I’ve ever had. By anchoring the focus in the very second my life was submerged in, I got out of my head and let go of all the tension in me.

If it wasn’t for that, I think it might end up pretty unpleasant.

Since then, I’ve strived to live my days in the “here and now”. I am exploring what it means and how we can achieve it in our daily lives.

I even got a tattoo on my wrist that is meant to work as a reminder and an anchor to the here & now.

Making it my main focal point, I have noticed an improvement in the overall quality of my life & relationships and a limitation of overthinking.

Yet, recently, on the wave of a big life re-make and lots of changes, I found myself anxious, confused, lost, and constantly jumping from what was to what could be, missing what is.

Just like in the metaphor that’s often used to describe this state, I didn’t allow myself to float with the current of life: you’re jumping from one rock to another, thinking this is what life is about, and you don’t let yourself see how pleasant it could be to let the stream carry you in its refreshing waters.

Thinking happens in between breaths.

Some time ago, I attended a masterclass on meditation organised by my friend, an amazing woman. She said something that immediately caught my attention, and what she, in turn, was told by her teacher:

"By being connected with your breath, you make meditation a way of living. Thinking happens in between breaths." 

If you can stay aware of your breath and keep it circular, you are present. There’s no other possibility. You automatically become present.

Try it out now.

Make sure that every breath is followed by another.

While you continue reading, direct a part of your focus to remain with your breath.

Don’t control or alter it. Just witness the air coming in and out.

Attention doesn’t divide — it grows.

You can simultaneously stay focused on your breath and, at the same time, work on the task you are dealing with or be active in the conversation you are partaking.

The difference between doing it with focus on the breath or without it is presence. When split-focusing on your respiratory system, you’re automatically anchoring yourself to the here and now.

(don’t let your attention drift away from the breath as you continue reading)

It’s either this or allowing that unemployed part of consciousness to run freely in your thoughts, distracting you all the time. Most of us don’t know how to occupy ALL of our attention (when you do, you enter the flow state — a wet dream of all creators).

Breath is something that is with us at all times, and thus we are able to return to it in every moment.

You will come across all kinds of fancy techniques and complex formulas that promise to throw you into the present and make you stay there. And maybe they do. But why make life more complicated than it already is? There’s no need.

You already have every tool you will ever need. You just need to learn how to use them.

And while breathing works without our help, there are many ways in which we can use it to help ourselves.

One of them is managing intense emotions through self-regulation and focusing on the present.

Calming breathing technique

There’s a breathing technique that I use when I can sense emotions overwhelming me (it also helped me manage most of my anxiety attacks).

It’s called simply 4-7-8.

It is a method derived from pranayama, an ancient Indian practice that focuses on control of the breath.

The idea is that the out-breath is twice as long as the in-breath.

To understand why it works, we need to talk a little bit about the autonomic nervous system, which controls our body's automatic functions like heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, etc.

The autonomic nervous system is divided into two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).

The SNS is often referred to as the "fight or flight" system, which prepares the body for action in response to a perceived threat. On the other hand, the PNS is often referred to as the "rest and digest" system, which helps the body to relax, rest, and repair.

When you're anxious or stressed, your SNS is activated, leading to an increased heart rate, faster breathing, and a heightened state of alertness.

This is helpful in situations where you need to respond quickly to a threat, but it can be detrimental when it's activated for prolonged periods due to chronic stress or anxiety.

The act of consciously lengthening your exhales relative to your inhales stimulates the PNS, helping to calm the body and mind.

When you breathe out for longer than you breathe in, you're essentially sending a signal to your brain to switch from a state of alertness to a state of relaxation. This can help to reduce anxiety, promote relaxation, and improve sleep.

Now, let’s put it into practice.

Each of the numbers (4,7,8) resembles the count on which you engage with your breath.

At first, you inhale on the count of 4. Don’t rush it.

Then, you hold your breath counting to 7 at the same pace.

And lastly, you breathe out on the count of 8.

You can repeat this exercise a few times until you feel calmer and more grounded in the present moment.

It might take some practice before you are able to keep your attention on the breath while going about your day, so don’t get discouraged.

Even a minute or two is good. Step by step, you will build it up.

And if you want to practice more, then meditation (in the method I explained in one of the previous letters) can be very helpful too.

Oh, also, many people say, “I can’t possibly do this, I will get more anxious/I will keep overthinking/I will start controlling my breath”.

It’s all true as long as you allow it to be true. Remember the limiting beliefs from previous emails? This is just another example of them.

What we think becomes who we are.

So if you think you are anxious or unable to do this exercise, you are right.

If you think you can do the exercise or learn how to manage your thoughts, you are right.

As Henry Ford said:

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right." 

The easiest way to give it a try? Treat it like an experiment.

I will write more about it in the upcoming letter, so keep an eye on your inbox next Friday! :)

To make sense of it all, write.

Once you make time to connect with yourself, it's good to put your thoughts on paper to make them a bit more tangible for future reference.

I have a few journaling prompts for you — to make use of what we talked about today.

You can do all of them or pick one that speaks the most to you.

(pro tip: keep your focus on the breath while writing!).

PROMPTS:

1. Distinguish between anxiety that arises from real, tangible situations and anxiety that is induced by your thoughts or perceptions. Which type do you experience more frequently? Try not to overanalyse or second-guess your responses. Often, your initial instincts or gut reactions provide the most accurate insights.

2. Write about your understanding of the statement, "What we think becomes who we are." How have your thoughts shaped who you are today? How can you use this understanding to shape who you want to become?

3. Reflect on a recent situation where you felt overwhelmed or anxious. Write about the thoughts and emotions you experienced during that time. How did you react to this situation? Did you try to escape it, or did you confront it?

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That’s it for today, friends!

Stay safe, drink water, smile at strangers, talk to pets and pet plants.

P.S. I think I will let the cows go, I liked them at first, but now they don’t feel as suitable as they did. I mean, I love cows, nothing changes here, but I’m still experimenting with this newsletter, and I want to be able to look for what feels right, so yeah. I will be exploring new styles. Hope that’s okay with you!

As always, you can reply to this email and tell me if you liked this story, have any questions, want to add anything or want me to cover something more.

I’ve gotten some messages from you through there, and I’m super grateful you took the time to let me know your thoughts! Thanks a ton!

Lastly, if you find these stories helpful, consider sharing this letter with your friends :) Perhaps they’d like to join us.

Talk soon!

Justyna