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Don Boivin's avatar

This was so wonderful to read, Justyna. Not only am I witnessing an awakening (and honored to be here), but even better; watching in real time as you instinctually understand that your sense of self will continue to operate in its habitual ways.

I often wonder if we are actually even SUPPOSED to awaken to the true nature of self ("not an essence but a process" as you so wonderfully put it). Or at the least, that if we do awaken, are we supposed to then no longer operate under that illusion? Or is it still necessary for our survival, even as we are gifted with an awareness that [hopefully] might help us to not get quite so lost in the exhausting process of always trying to improve that illusory self (as you also so eloquently described.)

I really enjoyed reading your processes and insights here, Justyna!

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Thank you so much, Don. It means a lot coming from you!

That question you raise—whether we’re meant to stop operating under the illusion, or simply hold it with awareness—is something I am exploring now as well. What I’m finding, for now, is that it might be less about dissolving the self entirely (or having any fixed idea of what that would look like) and more about softening around it, loosening our grip.

I’ve realised I had a certain idea about what was supposed to follow after seeing the nature of self more clearly—shaped, I think, by the accounts of teachers and sages I’ve long felt drawn to. So when the experience didn’t match those expectations, it brought a wave of confusion. My mind was quick to dismiss it as irrelevant, simply because it didn’t fit the narrative I had formed.

So at the very least, I'm learning that it isn't without reason that awakening is something told to be experienced, and not so much spoken about. As with anything, after all, words can only point the direction, but will never be that which Is.

I’m always grateful for your loving presence here, and I really appreciate the care and thought you bring to these reflections!

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@polizei_1's avatar

Your writings feel like the flow of the universe, exploring its boundless nature, beyond the banks and shores.. some call this the body of wisdom.. effortless being .. the emotional and mental body being laid to rest, allowing the vastly intelligent Universe to guide you back, to what is, and always was. I feel bathed in sincerity, peace and love through reading your pieces, no questions, no triggers, no opinions or viewpoints.. just snapshots pure seeing and expression. Thankyou Justyna

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Dear Phil, thank you for meeting the piece with such open-hearted presence. I feel the peace and love in your message, and I receive it with gratitude 🙏

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Chelton Nunes Júnior's avatar

Vulnerable. You write, by default, in vulnerable fashion - real - although, in this piece, there is an exposure to spots within you that you appear less familiar to... Here, I feel, you posses further - farther - gaps in awareness, perception... Compared to previous pieces, where awareness abounded, yet vulnerability came nonetheless - from the experiences themselves.

It is a pleasure witnessing these various aspects you manifest through being.

Busca eterna, do que eternamente muda.

I feel my amazement mirrors the amazement you soak in, for life... It is an intoxicating amazement...

My first glance reply to the question you posed by the end of your piece: in case I stopped holding it all together, I would try, hard, to continue holding together the not holding together. The desire for non-attachment, is, an attachment in itself, is how I experience my life... I am at greater peace with the notion of cycles, seasons and phases... Certain seasons I hold it together, certain season I let go, certain seasons compassion is at center, certain seasons this, other seasons that... Non duality asks me to love all life, even the aspects that stop life... At the end, love pushes us to our limits - as a brilliant writer, said, once -, even the limits of our mind's concepts, structures, understanding. Hence, I choose to, just be....... As you did.

At a certain point, I feel everything is contextual... It is the generalization of contextual notions that rig the flow of the river..... Anywho, algo do género.

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Chelton, your reflections are always a journey in themselves!

I read this slowly, taking in the textures you wove through—especially that beautiful line: the desire for non-attachment is an attachment in itself. So true, and so human.

I'm also happy to know you read and resonated with the other post as well featured in Elena's Poetry Month!

Thank you for witnessing this evolution with such honesty and nuance 🙏

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Chelton Nunes Júnior's avatar

It is my utmost pleasure to witness the evolution. It is, too, always fulfilling to feel the resonance you experience through my impressions of your inner world, journey, unfolding.

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Hans Jorgensen's avatar

I love the water imagery, the invitation to non-solid flow, and awareness. Thanks!

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Thank you for reading, Hans! I’m so glad the flow and imagery resonated. There’s something about water that always brings me back to presence and permeability—even just the sound of it flowing reminds me how to be.

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Davor Katusic's avatar

That was a thorough self-analysis:) And regarding the last question - if often raises up in a variety of ways - and what may happen if we don't try to hold it all together - I believe it is a cocktail of excitement, fear, freedom, uncertainty, openness, creativity, spontaneity, presence - a life itself.

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Thank you, Davor! That mix of emotions you describe feels so true to the experience of letting go… it’s rarely just one thing. There’s fear—but also so much spaciousness. I appreciate the way you named it 🙏

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Sara Siegler's avatar

The timing on this message and its spontaneous now of selfhood is wondrous. 🙏 Thank you.

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

I’m so glad the timing felt right, Sara! Those spontaneous moments of resonance often feel like quiet gifts :) Thank you for reading with an open heart 🤍

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Yolanda Valdés's avatar

Justyna, your words soothe my soul, plus I deeply resonate. Thank you. 🙏🏽

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Thank you, dear Yolanda, that means so much to me.

I’m grateful and humbled my words found their way to you and landed with a sense of resonance and soothing. Thank you for reading and for your openness 🤍

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Elena Brower's avatar

i love you! so proud of you

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Dear Elena, thank you for seeing me and encouraging me so consistently. Your support means more than I can say. I’m sending love and gratitude your way!

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Kevin Kaiser's avatar

So so good. I have to sit with this one for a bit. Thank you for writing it and sharing.

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Kevin. I’m glad it resonated with you and I really appreciate you taking the time to sit with this one; your presence here is felt. Grateful for your words 🙏

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Megan Youngmee's avatar

So amazingly shared and written. I get this journey so much

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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Thank you so much, dear Megan—it means a lot to feel seen and welcomed in the mess and mystery of it all. Grateful we get to walk some of this journey in parallel 🤍

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Apr 10
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Justyna Cyrankiewicz's avatar

Yes, there’s such freedom in shedding the weight of expectation. It can take time to remember who we are beneath it all. Thank you for sharing this insight!

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